The scary thing about girls is that they are not boys. Most girls are no good at robbery and mayhem. They can’t punch but they can kick, which hurts. They skip rope too fast. They are boring.

1. Always carry your PDK (Personal Disaster Kit). Be sure to include garlic for scaring away vampires and a scary mask to frighten girls.
2. Having a girl as a desk buddy is the kiss of death.
3. It can come in handy to know lots of Shakespearean curses like “Bathe thyself, thou reeky reeling-ripe pigeon egg.” and “Grow unsightly warts, thou half-faced horn beast.”
4. A gentleman will never make anyone cry, even if she is a girl with only one eye.
5. Being a superhero is hard work; you have to save the world. But going to school is even harder; you have to save yourself.
6. Substitute teachers can be trouble.
7. Concord, New Hampshire, is a great place to live, but it would be even better if there were an exploding volcano there. Explosions are wonderful!
8. Getting busted is the best spectator sport around our house, except when you’re the one getting busted.
9. A therapist is a very smart person who wears glasses and can help you with your problems by asking questions instead of giving you shots.
10. Sometimes, friends are found in unexpected places.

Other Books You Might Like….

• Ruby Lu, Brave and True by Lenore Look
• Ruby Lu, Empress of Everything by Lenore Look
• Diary of a Wimpy Kid series by Jeff Kinney